Much better these days. No particular reason, I guess I'm about to find an inner rythm and stick to it. Biggest problem now is the house, I might have to wait until December or something to really be able to purchase something I could call "home". This place I'm living in right now does not comply at all with my definition of "home". In the meanwhile, I dream about that, I buy magazines and fancy around those imagines, like in a day-dream. Perhaps this could be soon a reality. Time is still a problem, but I discovered that it's all about time-management really. I just have to be "in the mood":). And mood is so unpredictable and beyond control that I cannot help being under the weather sometimes.
Weeks go by too fast, it's the end of October and I am not quite aware of it. I have, from time to time, a strike of reality, but it easily dissovles into my daily routine. And that is web web web.. No wonder I let my blog die. I understood however that this was in me all the time, this web thing, starting with spending lots of time on various astrology sites or women online magazines.. to wanting to learn web desing for the chemistry magazine I was working for. Of course, this does not make me an expert, I never pretended I was one, but it gave me a fresh look into this business.
But enough about work.. time to relax and to read some blogs. :)

void

That's what I feel lately. Long talks with my boyfriend about our relationship. Void again. Corporate void this time. I think, just as I told him tonight, that my problems are not menial, are so serious that I don't even want to utter them, for this would mean they exist. It's enough that my own self warns me that I kinda dissolved my spirit, that my effervescence is now only empty bubbles, I don't want to make it official, to admit it. Coz I wouldn't know what to do next. Get a life would be the answer, yes, I know. But I still believe that there could be a balance between life at work and life outside work. Admitting the problem would only draw me back even more, making me unable to act, to react, to do what I am probably supposed to do: LIVE. Searching for that balance is even more troubling. I need to have people around me who, not on purpose, could take me out this vicious circle I've entered.
I need a home, this is what I am struggling for. I need friends to make me think of other things than work or problems. I cannot do it by myself. And this I knew from the very beggining, from the first day at work, and I promised to myself I won't become what I am about to become: work freak. I guess I have to be forced to have fun sometimes. Sad story and a sad perspective, I know. Any suggestions?