Friday, October 07, 2005

@work

It's been a long time, I know, but I didn't have anything to say or anything interesting to say. These days I feel quite bad again, like everyhting is wrong and I have no clue where I'm going. I have dillemas concerning my life and my purpose in life. Or I have to just to live and see where it's taking me? People around me are getting married and are having kids, they look like they can manage with this situation, although they are my age. I really don't feel like it, I mean I would like to have kids at some point, but not now, I feel I still have to live a different kind of life, I am still too imature and too little to be able to raise kids of my own:(. And I am not self-confident at all, and I feel I must be strong in order to have a kid. Of course, I feel bad because my personal life is not very well right now, I don't know exactly why, but I have the sense that something is not well, or at least that's what I felt yesterday. Today....let's say I am ok, so far. But this can be a premonition for some big changes (again!!!) or it can be just a phase. We'll see.