Strange love

Strangelove
Strange highs and strange lows
Strangelove
That's how my love goes

I can't miss writing about this:). I am not, not anymore, a teenager, enthousiatic and totally devoted to some gods on a poster. Nevertheless, the Depeche Mode concert of tomorrow brings out from within me some leftovers from my teenage years. Maybe because I never had the chance to go to a biiiiig concert like that 10 years ago, or maybe because such events always bring a hint of euphoria, I don't exactly know what it is, but I am totally and completely focused on tomorrow. I imagine scenes, I picture gestures and I create expectations.. It is very likely I will be a bit disappointed, perhaps I will be disturbed by the crowd pulling me, people trying to get a better view, worries of keeping myself safe and sound..but still, the thought of me being able to see this band I like on stage....well, that's something. In fact, this week Gotan Project had a concert here as well, I missed that one, I can't afford going to both concerts, but hey, it's been quite a week from this point of view.
I picked up this quote because I just feel like it tonight.

My muses

I sometimes find people who inspire me. I sometimes become inspiration to others, but these rare cases I do not consider, for I, my friends, aim to only evolve as a spirit. People who inspire me help me evolve. I do not know if this is a general truth about myself, but so far, this is what happened. People who helped me, in any way, get in the mood where I could just take a glance of the bigger picture, where I could see myself from above somehow, objectively, those were the ones who contributed to my evolution. And I do not mean material progress, but a mental and spiritual one. I truly feel that I am what I am just because I had the fortune of meeting such people. And I thank them for doing that, although they may not have a clue they've done it in such an important way to me.
Right now I think I like myself the way I am.... I guess there will be a limit to that too, but for now, for this moment, thanks to all of those who turned me into ME, I fucking love my life!

I'm feelin that I loose myself

I wanted to write several times but either I quit because of lack of ideas, or my computer went so slowly that I didn't have the patience to wait for the page to load. And sometimes I feel like I have so many things I would like to write about, but they just vanish the minute I begin the post. And I end up with a completely common piece of writing that I grow to hate every time I try to add something to it, so I just...quit. I figure I must have the time and the mood to write and to feel like writing again. And this is no time for that.
My job takes almost all my time. What I have left I try to share between my boyfriend, my mother, my driving lessons and some other things I complicate my life with. But this Friday was special, because I had nothing planned, I could sleep late (Friday is my day off) and drink my coffee in peace and even go to the market place, which was weird, coz only me and some old ladies were around and I felt like I was in a holiday or something!
And now I've come to appreciate my one month vacation/summer and my 8 to 4 working hours. I don't miss the work though. Nor the people. I like these ones better. And the work as well. I just hate what's goin on there, I mean people trying to stop something that's going fantastically well, people trying to take somebody's else place...ugly stuff like that. I know you people gonna say "wake up girl, that's the real world!", but I don't believe these things just happen like that everywhere. I hate this lack of stability or purpose or motivation and I need something to stabilize all that.
I really feel that I don't remember who I am anymore or what I want with my life, I just work and sleep and get tired and tired and tired. And I suppose now I'm just complaining and, yes, I know, there are people with worse problems than mine, but..well, this is my blog.