how to...

You know there are lots of books about "how to": how to quit smoking, how to write a wonderful book, how to have a great body shape, how to fuck your brains out.... I think I'll be needing a book about how-to-live-my-life-alone-for-one-year. I guess it's the first time it happens for such a long time. I'm glad for him, I'm just happy he gets to study there, but I can't stop wondering "what about me?". I cannot figure my life right now. My only hope, as I see it, is to jump into a whirlpool of issues such as my house, my job, my pets, my..self. We'll see...

....

It's pretty difficult for me now to describe last week. I had such busy, emotional, physically challenging days that I can hardly put them into words. The strongest emotion is certainly my going back HOME. yes....you heard me....HOME. The appartment we used to live in was in front of the railway station. When I arrived and saw MY window, MY balcony....I couldn't help crying. I didn't care people were staring, I went to my aunt's in tears, wondering why am I here and not going home.
For the rest...I was surprised to notice how much I liked the town, how deep inside my mind are imprinted its alleys, its streets, the schools, my parents' work places... And especially how I felt that this was my home. I own a little house at the country side where I grew up, I might buy myself a little home in Bucharest, but I guess nothing will compare to that feeling of HOME I experienced on Friday.
My highschool colleagues are almost the same:). I loved seeing them, I loooooved going back to school.

I loved being back home. Except that I can't tell when I'll be going there again.