back

I'm back. Not really happy that I am back. I'd just begun to get used to having sand in my hair, to the hot sun of the noon, to the loisir mood of that place. I am on vacation after all, I shouldn't be here, in this dirty town.
I am here because I had to make a choice. I could have been selfish and stay, or caring and come. So I came. But ... me not really happy.

I'm leaving

Tomorrow I'll be at the seaside. For very few days, indeed, but those will be MY days of rest. Do not look for me. Do not call me or ask about me. I'll be just fine, trust me, better than today or any of the days of this shitty week that's about to end.
I had a lot of pressure and trouble, since I wanted to make everything right and I failed. I tried to offer my best, yet people were unsatisfied. They hadn't even told me so, they told someone else, and this is how I know it.
I tried to offer the perfect birthday at the office and I feel I failed. Nobody said anything bad about it, but I just felt it wasn't what I had in mind.
Oh, well, hopefully tomorrow these will be things I couldn't care less. I want my rest and I deserve it.
I am sure that many of you have heard this song. If you, younger guys, haven't, well, it's no loss, it's just a song that marked an entire generation at the beginning of the '90s

one day

You'd say (for those who undersand Romanian, of course) that this song is not appropriate at all. But this is my real mood. Cannot name it, put my finger on it, but in the middle of the summer, on my last day of work before a short and, hopefully, intense holiday, I shouldn't be melancholic or something. Well, I am.
I hope I will be ok after this time off work. Hope to get some rest and find my inner equilibrium.

in wiki we trust:P

Wikipedia says I was born on the same day as the following personalities (among others): Ignatius of Loyola, Ava Gardner, Mary Higgins Clark, Tarja Halonen, Ricky Martin. What do a Jesuit, an actress, a poet, the president of a nordish country, a Latin singer and me have in common? I really believe we all suffer from not having a proper birthday. On my birthday people think about Christmas and Santa, not me. I believe these guys also had/have the same problem. Could anyone ask them if I am right? I don't have their phone-numbers....yet:)).

tic-tac

I really like Mika. Not only that his name is the one of my cat, but I also like his music. And I play this song every time I face a bit of a crisis. Like today for instance when I started crying while watching photos of my cousin and her new-born baby. Now I know all these theories about the biological clock of women, how we really want kinds and when we feel we should we get frustrated if we don't... But I don't really think it is my case now. Or I didn't think it until today. And then I faced a new dillema: is my age starting to show it's thorns? Do I start feeling like 29?
I don't have an answer and I really have to go clean up the mess in this house..but this will bother me for some time now.

vinegar and salt

you tell me why I love this song so much

RS

yes, it's true, I've been there. I saw them. I really did. They're old, funny and really know how to entertain. I loved Mick saying things in Romanian, making fun of Lisa, I loved Keith's first song, I loved Ronnie's generosity with the public. I loved it. I couldn't regret I was there. But nothing compares to last year. It's possible my feelings were different, it's possible I was less affected by RS music. Still I liked it though.

For the rest, heat is killing me bit by bit. They say it's hotter here than in Sahara Desert and I believe it, +40 degrees outside is murder. The AC in our office is almost dead, keeps us only from fainting, but we're all heavy sweating there. And we have another 8 days to face it. Heat is my nightmare now.

As for the house, I decided to take it slow since my uncle said I can stay here for as long as I want. So I'll look for the best offer I can afford. That's about it. Hope it will be soon though.

and so it goes

It hit me this morning while walking to work: I'll soon be 29 and settling down is not anywhere near my plans, short term or long term, not even in their vicinity. My mother and my old relatives ask me all the time "why don't you get married?". Well, for starters, nobody asked me. Never. It's not that I really want it, but it never happened. Last I've heard, I cannot get married alone. It takes two to tango.

Or maybe I'm just a little bit depressed.

too much sun, no energy

As much as I would like a home, I cannot find the energy to look for one. But this is old news already:). I tried to move but I can't. It's too damn hot around here. I have too much to do at work sometimes, that I forgot I have issues. MY issues. Nevermind, nobody is kicking me out of this place anyway.
As you all know (I dunno why I said "all" since I believe there are very few people reading me these days, I know, I grew up, I'm just borring), I just love summer, but the heat prevents me from moving around this city. Too much dust, too many cars, the sideways are burning in the middle of the day. Plus, I hate banks. Really do. In fact I hate numbers. At school I got only low degrees in mathematics. Unfortunately, one way or the other, I mean new building or old building, I'll have to deal with banks at some point in my existence. Oh well, what can I do....not much.
We're all preparing for the Rolling Stones concert here in Bucharest. I'm not that enthousiastic as last year when I saw Depeche Mode live on stage, but well, it's something I cannot miss. And I'm sure my dad would have loved to see them.
I recently saw one of Oprah's shows where the main cast of Seinfeld was invited. Seinfeld himself, Julia, Jason, Michael, they were all there, and I enjoyed every minute of it. I remembered why I had such a passion for this show in the first place. And why I chose my master degree paper subject to be the language of Seinfeld:). But this never happened anyway. It was just a dream...
I was asked one evening what my dream is. I simply couldn't answer. At last I said I dreamed to have my own place. But this didn't come out from the beginning. I guess I believed people expected me to be more profound or original than this.

headache

I'm tired. It's chronic fatigue already. I had no vacation last year and this year my vacation will be too short to have a proper rest. I started the "M needs a home" campaign but so far I haven't had any success. I'm kinda patient though, but outta time for looking properly. I realized that every time I have to do something for myself, no pressure attached, I have the tendency to postpone things, to take it too easy maybe, I am not motivated enough I guess. How can I fight myself?
Cruel headache right now. Not the best month for me, apparently.