dazed and confused.... more confused:)

I decided to go to Barcelona on my birthday. Cristina and me. Just us girls. I just hope she won't find a guy until then and leave me alone:). But hey, this might be quite an experience, right?

Well, we tried to find tickets tonight and guess what? They are kind of expensive for low cost companies (we found tickets around 490 Euros for 2 persons, I mean, c'mmmmoooon). Searching for other ways to get there, she thought of asking at the railway station if there are some ways to go to Barca by train. Well, no trains go directly from Bucharest to Barcelona or anywhere, except for Venice, Italy (of course, we Romanians are kinda romantic people) and the ticket would cost like 170 euros one way for one person!!! That was very funny, she didn't have the nerve to ask how long this journey would last, this high price was too much for her.

In the end we decided to ask some advice from our boss, the Robi, he's the smart guy around there. And only after that (please notice the respect:P) buy the tickets.
My mother was a bit speechless hearing my latest wish, maybe because she thought she won't have me here for Christmas. I, for one, decided to be selfish this year and think about MY BIRTHDAY. To me it's not a waste of time. Not yet. I like my birthday. It makes me feel special and unique (as if I wasn't already!:))). The age might get me depressed, yes, but hey, who's thinking about that in Barcelona?

I'm going to sleep now, it's late. But I can't leave without the song that inspired the title of this post, no connection (apparently only) with anything I was mumbling here these past few minutes. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Led Zeppelin!

Pink Martini and a very busy weekend

It all started on Friday evening. I went out with a colleague for tea. I ended up in a bar, then in a club where I had the "misfortune" of having two shots of tequila. Home around 4. Next morning I was woken up by the phone, I was supposed to go to Sinaia for the wedding and I was kinda late, my friend Oana called to say she was waiting for me. I arrived at the station quite on time. Of course, I was on the train more time than I was in Sinaia, but I was there:) (pictures in a later post). Then, the Concert. I rarely had the occasion to see something so beautiful as the Pink Martini concert I was at. I mean... these guys are great! And I don't know why, but in the end I felt like I went through my whole life with their songs. I remembered my trip to Italy (Una notte a Napoli), everything from my relationship with C (Sympathique, Brasil, Donde estas Yolanda...), he is after all the one to "blame" for my musical taste; and last, but not least, the present (Hang on Little Tomato). And for the first time in my life I regretted my Dad didn't have the patience to properly teach me how to play the violin.
After PM, I went to a bar then to the same club as the other night.
Today I celebrated my brother's birthday:). And his girlfriend's too.
I can't complain, I had quite a weekend which left me voiceless and a bit tired, but somehow ok with myself.

ooops

I did it! I broke my washing machine. Don't ask me how. I know how but I guess I am too lazy to say it in English. It works, lucky me, but that compartment where I put the detergent is not right in it's place. I took it out to wash it, and I couldn't put it back.
Now, this bothered me so much that I even set my messenger status with this issue, and, of course, sooner or later my friends/colleagues started asking how did I do it, what happened, etc.
C suggested I should write a post on this matter, maybe I'll get some online help, which he also exemplified by quoting some blog of a guy switching 2 washing machines, coz one is always broken or about to be fixed. Ok... so I did it and now I expect you guys to teach me how to fix it. Coz I ain't calling nobody to fix it, it's too much trouble, really.
Tomorrow is Friday. yes, I know you know this, but I just wanted to get into the weekend mood. Now, me sleepy, it's late, night night!

this, that (no other)

My mother says that the next will be great for me. She read this in a dime-a-dozen horoscope for 2008, knowing my hidden passion for this kind of things. Thing is everything referred to work, carrier, money. How about me? How about other things in my life? Hmmm, I guess it's getting worse, right?
But I am quite looking forward for this weekend. Saturday is a busy day. I have to travel to Sinaia for Heta's wedding. Then I come back in the evening for the Pink Martini concert. Then I believe I'm going out, that is in a club. Now that's a good day.
I believe I wouldn't have any reason to get bored. I have a pile of books on my desk, waiting for me to read them, I decided it's about time to learn how to swim and, of course, besides looking for a house (which I only say I do, but I never actually do anything about it, it's only an obsession), I might try taking up driving lessons again. This became a delicate subject in my mind, since I consider it a failure. My personal failure. And I am not at all used to failures.
So you see, I am a busy girl:). At least for a while.

...

Kinda of weird days, these days. I suddenly feel like I am broken inside and need time to regroup. I need time to find that inner balance that would bring me back on track. The problem is I don't really know what track is that. I guess this might be interesting, like a surprise in a box of chocolates, but still I am not anymore at the age of looking boldly at the future and see it bright. I learned deception, delusion (much of my own cause, I agree) and I guess being cautious is only the result.
They call me "granny" at the office. Sometimes I understand why. I don't look like one, but I surely act like one from time to time. And this only because my life at the office so much conquered my inner, personal life, that I find it hard not to involve emotionally. My balance, my outer life is almost gone now. And this is why I sometimes (like these days) feel I don't worth much, that I lack that spark that used to made me different (in my own subtle way, of course), I am not interesting, nor witty, nor smart or anything. I just am. I walk, I talk, I do things from the impulse of my conscience. But there is no.... enthusiasm maybe. I can't put my finger on it, but I feel something is missing, that fresh approach that makes me see things clearly and be sure of my decisions.
I never expected this to happen. I never thought that this age will bring me so many confusing days.
My computer is almost broken. I would like a laptop. I've dreamed of one for 6 years now. I have the money to buy one, but I am thinking it over and over: maybe I need the money for the house. Maybe I would go to Barcelona for my birthday. Maybe... it's the weather. I'm waiting for sunnier days. Or maybe for someone to make them sunny.

nothing...

I had some busy days.. I always do when my boss is missing. I have to sort of take care everything is under control.
But today was special because I went to this event about newspapers and media and I really think that after my head will stop spinning, I might have some clear ideas for work:).
Socially I am zero. Really. I never go out. I plan on not staying home this weekend, since I am also free. Maybe take a tour to Ikea:). Or start once again the "M needs a home" campaign. I might be in luck these days.
This is how the conference started. Pretty significant, isn't it?

yeah, right, October again

I guess I must find somewhere people I can hang out with every day. Because autumn makes me feel helpless and lonely, and I really hate going home after a long day of work. Now it's a time to drink tea, talk to friends, in warm comfy places, away from the cold rain outside.
Anyway, October looks like a busy month. Not only that I celebrate my brother on this month (oh, yes, an his girlfriend), but my girl Heta is getting married and there is this Pink Martini concert I look forward to.
Yesterday we had Muse here. I didn't go, everyone was saying that they are great, I was feeling weird I never listened to them before, but I decided not to go. I am not a hypocrite, I cannot go to a concert not knowing what it's all about.
Now Chemical Brothers is somethin' else. I'm going! On the 20th this month.
Gosh.... it would have been so great to have these guys here some years ago!

my own personal saga

I've been meaning to write about this for some time now, I just didn't have the time, nor the mood. I'm at work now, it's Saturday, it's cloudy, the office is warm like a home now to me and I can't stop thinking that my story here, my life as I have it now, started 10 years ago on the 6th of October. It was the first day of school. I was alone in a huge town (coz it seemed huge at that time). My heart was still at home: my boyfriend was there, my parents, my friends, my pink bedroom. Here I had a cold big house, a tiny room in the attic, a sick aunt, an egoist uncle, a shallow cousin....nobody. I remember I was even crying when I was alone.
Still, I believe my beginning here was fortunate. My luck was meeting people I could rely on, people who helped me tremendously and to whom I am grateful to this day. I learned to love this controversed, sometimes dirty, sometimes glamorous city and I am not sorry I made this choice.