the truth

I should tell now the truth about it all, although I really don't feel comfortable admitting that this way of life is actually my fault. Because it was me to let it happen, I was waaaay too indulgent with my ex boyfriend and everyone around me. So we broke up, of course i couldn't have done it without some extra help and so some other guy ... "happened". Well, and this guy was kinda married, kinda divorcing because of me, kinda going back to his wife for a while, not emotionally but physically (cause we made the mistake to move in together, and after that he was gone, leaving me all alone, I really wonder how I managed to pay the rent so far) and kinda wanting to come back now, when I threw him out of me.... On top of this, as I was wondering one Sunday afternoon "do I really love anyone, or I'm just dried out for a while?", I realized that I do love someone. And as you, readers, might expect, it's not my ex boyfriend (I see him Thursday to Sunday each week), nor my new one, it's someone else, who was there all the time, and now it's impossible for us to be together. I'm not saying I hit the jackpot with him, but now I don't even have the chance to see if it's true or not... And this leaves me a little bitter and sad. But hey, life's too short to be unhappy, isn't it?

As for the problem of the last post, well, actually I got discouraged to see how troubled I was (and I still am) during the past few months. I think I'm gonna be the happiest person on earth when this fucking year is done. But thanks for being there, you guys:)).... (that's no reference to male readers only :P )