age &stuff

I am 26. People expect me to act like 26. How is that? How am I to know how should I act? I am 26 now...I don't realize it and act accordingly and to tell you the truth I don't care. I got tired of fulfilling other people's expectations and forget about my own... It's true I define myself depending on others, but I DO have my own expectations of this life. I got a little bit sad remembering the day I got this job, my first day at work, how it all seemed bizzare and oldish and how I was swearing to myself that this would be only temporarely, untill I find something better. I got stuck here, I got used to them and to this atmosphere, but I didn't evolve, I kinda feel plain, like my brain only smoothened instead of getting more and more wrinkeled.
C. came back.... I was surprised to see him, I was curious to hear his stories, but nothing is like it used to be, I cannot pretend last year never happened, I don't want that. I just need my life to be as it is now, like it was last night ( I think it was one of those perfect evenings when nothing seems artificial, forced, blurry, everything was just...perfect), like it appears to become or evolve. I'm turning into something else, I know, I'm changing and I feel it, and yes, this is el fin de una epoca, so it makes no sense of hanging on to the past. So that was it.
But last night was perfect, as I said. And I say that for one reason in particular: this was one of those days when I was craving for tender touch and a bit of desire and passion and that was what I got, expectations fulfilled:)). I went to sleep happy and woke up smiling, that's what I call a good mood.
Happy people are not interesting at all, I have the feeling, while writing this post, that I only write facts, not feelings, like robots, it's like once you're well, the mind is too relaxed to make connections, to think, to be interested in stuff .... or maybe it's just too busy living every second of it since it's so rare and lasts so little.