picture

Although I think I am supposed to be a little bit more technical than I am right now, due to the nature of my job, unfortunately it seems I am not as good as I thought. Because I lost like an hour trying to take a picture of myself (that is me on the left) and upload it here, so that I can put the URL to my profile. Initially I was upset because at a profile search here, my blog had no photo! After that I tried to find out how do I do it. And so... I lost a good hour:). I guess I had nothing better to do anyway.
This morning I left Mika closed in the kitchen. Poor thing, when I arrived she was "screaming" her lungs out, I guess it was terrible for her to spend almost 11 hours in one room, with no food or water.
And that happened only because of that damn "the apprentice" thing. I watch it and then I watch "Sex and the city" and then I go to bed tired and wake up dizzy and so I lock the cat in the kitchen. This TV is ruining my life!

LATER EDIT: it was easier than I thought! and I did it! Damn, I'm smaart:))).

living on my own

I guess being alone makes me a little bit nostalgic. In fact, I hardly think about myself right now. I don't know what's goin' on with my soul these days. I believe it's not in a very good mood...
I am a little bit afraid of being alone. I have always been surrounded by people. I have always lived with somebody. I hate the empty house and I'm sure autumn will make it worse. But I think it was about time I face this in my life, to deal with it and get used to it. Because in the end, we get used to everything, good or bad. And so I must get used to having friends who never call, weird neighbors and an unhappy cat. In a month or two, I could even get used to the empty house.
But I'm not sure I could get used to the lack of words. I need words to stir my imagination, to be in a good mood, to shine, to blossom, to sleep well. Crazy as it sounds, I need somebody to tell me I look good in order for me to believe it. I need to be told I am loved to be well.

Saturday

Around here today:). Did my nails professionally for the first time in my almost 29 years. It looks ok, but I ruined one nail trying to cut the bread. Nevertheless, I'm a lady:). I also had my hair done, I look like a dumb kid:), but this is alright, I guess my moral needed a change of look. And I do everything for my moral, I hate it when it's down.
This is my first weekend off alone. I do nothing. I have plenty to do, the house is a mess, the cat is bored and lonely, the pile of books to read is waiting, and the pile of movies to watch as well, but I can't seem to want anything. I read blogs, google people and smoke.
Somehow I feel English is limiting me. I wish I could write in Romanian, although I'm afraid it could be a disaster. This feeling lasts since high school when I wrote a piece on one of Oriana Fallaci's books, "If the Sun dies". Both my parents decided it was unpublishable. Nobody since then encouraged me to write, although I liked it, I couldn't live without it. C has a great talent, too bad he is not using it. I made me even more frustrated I couldn't write. And now..I guess it's too late, I'm too damn busy to concentrate on anything. Even on ME.
I'll go back to doing nothing now. Maybe I'll end up doing something.

SL

As long as we've been all waited for it, it finally happened. Yes. It did. The star of our department finally appeared on TV saying stuff about Second Life. Labeled "IT Specialist". Well, he is, as a matter of fact, and his sayings were deep:)). This is why it is up there, listed in the top stories of our site, among accidents, hijacked planes and luxurious holidays of our fellow Romanians. Eh, that was the least I could do, SINCE I AM THE EDITOR AND THE CONTENT MANAGER OF THAT SITE!!! All in one.
No wonder I look crazy sometimes. Besides having no life at all.
Indeed, I feel I lost the meaning of everything these days. I try to cover it, to stay strong, but sometimes it shows. I'll get used to it, I suppose.
I'm going to bed now. I'm working tomorrow. (yes, tomorrow IS Sunday)

crazy days

It's been like crazy around here these days. I left my office no later than 10 in the evening and I'll work during the weekend. I had one day off, today. Th worst part of it all is my feelings for what I do. I feel I don't have any..landmarks anymore, I don't know if what I'm doing is right or wrong and nobody is telling me that. I feel people are kinda discontented by what I do and I never receive a hint that could motivate my evolution. I hate it. I hate it because I feel I'm blind. I'll try to structure it as much as I can and develop a system of my own that could comply with work...but this would be damn difficult since I don't know anything...about anything anymore.

But today was nice because I met my friend Corina from Luxembourg, she'll get married there in September and I'm going! We established the last details before we go there and I'm looking forward to go on this trip. And yes, eat "mule":)).

vem vet

J'aime le passe. C'est plus rassurant que le present et bien plus sur que l'avenir.

Salistea, formerly known as Cioara

I couldn't believe my eyes, but there it is! I am from here! I mean, my father comes from this village and somebody having the same last name as I do discovered these historically interesting pieces.
No matter what, I am really proud that the village where I spent ALL of my summer holidays is in Wiki. Really proud!

YES!!!

I've just found out, via Andressa, that Pink Martini are coming to Bucharest! Cannot believe it! Me Happy. And if Thievery Corporation would come in a duet with Gotan Project (I missed them because of Depeche Mode, remember?), I think I won't need anything for my birthday this year:)).

I wish

all I ever wanted when I was a kid was to become a singer. Then, a journalist. Then my parents told me I'm no good for a journalist, so why don't I study foreign languages, at least I have a proper job. So I did.
But singing persists. Imagine this, all I want is to sing....in a karaoke bar:))). I mean, really, I picture myself sometimes singing a song I love at karaoke. It fascinates me more than anything else, how some people can sing so perfect, so complex... I guess I never did it because I was afraid of the attention granted to me when I would sing. I am afraid not to look ridiculous, afraid people could make fun of me. So maybe I'll do it in a far away country, drunk, careless of what anybody would say about me or my voice.
Or maybe this persisted because someone told me I have a good voice. Not for singing, for radio, but well...that was the best compliment my voice ever got from somebody not emotionally involved with me. Dunno if he meant it though:).
This is what I'd just loooooove to sing.

the first day of the rest of my life

I couldn't have pictured this day at all. It was pouring outside, already an autumn atmosphere I hate, but I was ok. I couldn't focus that much, I wasn't really there, but I was ok. No tears.
He arrived safely home, I received an email in the morning. All day long, I read that email, almost memorized it, I read every word and missed him. I just miss him, that's all. And now it's not the worst part of it all, I guess in a month I'll really feel he's missing.
Now, I have to re-picture my days and I already have some plans, but they hardly include going out like we used to. Maybe I'll be wrong, but I fill my days with work. That's about it. But it was about time, isn't it?

?

There are only three days left. How can I concentrate everything I feel in 3 days? How can I feel anything while packing and managing stuff? How can I imagine my life from now on?