Tuesday, December 21, 2004

f......g birthday week

at least I have no time get bored. Coz except for that I have everything. Got depressed today (I'm also very tired and I haven't slept for 2 days), I remembered my birthday is this week and I really hate it, cause I kinda feel old and you know... when I was ten I was sure that when I'll be 26 I'll be married with children... Well, it's not that I wanna get married, or I might but it takes two for that, but I feel like I must do something with myself, my life was not supposed to be like that, I should have been somebody who could make a difference. Hm I guess not, isn't it? And to make it even more difficult to endure, nobody is meeting me on my birthday, they are all home with their families... as I am supposed to be with mine, but I really can't stand those phonies more than 3 hours. So i'll be taking my brother and his girlfriend and go some place.... the very thought of it makes me feel like crying....
still, there is one thing, in fact one person that made these last few days easier. He knows many jokes, i love to laugh...Bingo! perfect match:)). But you know what's weird? we only met once, but we talk so much all day long that I feel I know him for ages.. and that's great.

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