sincerely bad mood

So it seems now that everyone found out about my intentions to leave my job for another. And I spent quite a few hours thinking of how to break the news to the ladies in my office. And this because I felt like betraying them, I felt like I was leaving them like an unfaithful protegee, ungrateful of the life I had for four years. Looking back, I should be grateful to them, they helped me so many times that I can't remember, although of course, living together was not always easy. But all in all, they spoiled me like their own child and I felt somehow protected. But this had nothing to do with my carrier or my hopes in this life. I was not born, nor educated to remain a philology garduate working for an obscure chemistry magazine. It's not that I want fame or glory, I don't want to be a star or anything, but I want to feel motivated, to feel that I work for something and to see the results. I want to be in the middle of events, I want to feel that I LIVE, not that my brain is washed up by a strange chemistry formula I don't even know how to pronounce.
So I spit it out, the piece of news, and they reacted ok, they were not happy, a little bit sad, but ok. My boss, instead, got mad. I didn't even had the chance to tell him personally about it, but someone else did it for me, and so he was angry I didn't tell him face to face. I would have, had he been available. Now this bothers me so much that I can't help thinking about it all the time. I don't want to leave with a bad feeling. I'm just a bad break-upper I guess.
Well, I'm going to do the laundry now..

I have internet at home now. So what? I am coming home late with no desire of spending even more time in front of the computer than I already do. I was hoping I woudn't be so tired every day and allow myself to feel things, to have sensations and instincts, but they seem all dead. So, there's nothing left for me to do here..or maybe just to watch different net-jokes coming from my "busy" friends, all kinds of small films and power-point pictures. They look nice, sometimes they're funny, and that's it! Hours go by like minutes waiting for them to download... My cat will need a shrink for sure, she's too lonely, dunno if she can make friends with the turtles, I don't think so.
But the wind of change is blowing now, my friends, as I am about to succeed in changing the one thing I am complaining since the begining of this blog: my job. I spent this day there, at the new place, and it was...refreshing and alive and dynamic. And perhaps this comes just in time to save me from becoming old before my age and on the inside, and being cozy and spoiled is not good at all to a certain extent. So maybe, just maybe, I will be back with more Miruna-wit:) if I may say so.
I was quoted some paragraphs of my blog the other day and all I can say it's that I really couldn't believe I wrote those things. Or did I change so much that now I have to find something else? We'll see. I'm just looking forward for the future, wherever it may be:). Good night.

It's pretty late and I am pretty tired, this week started in force, so to speak, I was happy about this internet connection at home, but of course, those guys showed up at 8 instead of 5 and I hate when people are late. And then lots of things to do and I am running like crazy, trying to share my time for everything, but it was almost like too much noise for nothing: I run too much for such small things. My reward is a weekend at the mountains, I really needed it, hope I will come back with a different state of mind. Other than that, things are close to shaping up around here, the only thing I hate is the weather, it's freezing and only today I had the time to get my coat to the dry-cleaner's, in the meantime I try not to stay too much outside. It's getting dark at 5 p.m. here and this makes me sleepy...eh, winter. Tomorrow I will be 26 and 11 months, I'm getting close to 27, Gosh, I don't feel like my age at all. 27 sounds responsible and mature and wanting a family, instead I feel like 23 or so, barely waking up to reality:)). Or something. I'm going to bed now, sleepy.... Babay.

at last

It's 22:53 now as I'm writing, you can imagine that I'm pretty tired and sleepy but very glad that at last I HAVE INTERNET AT HOME. Of course, for most people, this is not much of an accomplishment, but to me it's important, I can browse now freely, without my boss or anyone else looking over my shoulder to see what I'm writing or where I browse. It's so important because I wanted it for a long time now and it's almost unreal that I can chat with friends or see jokes without being stressed or anything. And most important of it all, I can write:). So that's all for tonight, I'll be back tomorrow!

hi again

It's been like...a month or so, Goooosh, I'm beginning to get lazy in writing. I don't really mean that, but it seems that whenever I have something interesting to say, I am on my way to work in morning, on my way home, in the evening, on my way to my lessons, in different parts of this crowded and sometimes spooky city. So the idea gets lost in the crowded place that is my head, just as crowded as this city or as this life of mine. I'll soon be 27 and I am not complaining anymore. I feel young and somehow strong, I feel I've overcome so many things in my life that I can easily deal with the rest of them. The only thing that's bothering me is that my friends are getting married and having kids, it seems this year was really rich in that: weddings and baptisms. It's weird, instead of going to a club, we're going to a wedding party. Not that it's not that funny, but...this means we're growing up and stuff. Except that, my family increased with one member, the puppy Mooky, a mixture of teckel and caniche, very much looking like her caniche father. She is 6 weeks old and my mother adores her:). But my cat doesn't:(.
I really have a Zoo at my place: 2 turtles, a cat and if I bring Mooky for the weekend...imagine that:)). And this in one room, in my brother's studio, lucky me he's in Florence now.
Well, my point today was that I got excited on the idea of having internet at home...and I thought I could write better on this blog if I have a quiet moment to think about things. Here, in the office, it's too noisy and I have too many things to deal with at once to be able to think of a new post. So I really hope that the next time I will write will be from home:).
Until then:), that was it for me today...bye everyone!